Kaleidoscope

So it's been awhile.. things are pretty excellent. WE of course a little short on funds but who isn't and we aren't starving. I am hoping to have a job that is a part of step 1 of my career soon. (cross my fingers) yet another certification but hey who knew. I am feeling tired still but I am sleeping well and napping excellently. But enough about me... my little sister is finally engaged (I say finally because she's been waiting patiently) it's been tough for them.. him travelling all over the world, her here doing a masters. Them trying to renovate and build a new house together on his family estate in another province entirely. But to no avail they are finally out loud committed to getting married. She's going to make it happen quick I am sure of it. That's the kind of girl she is.. They have the money so away they go. I am very Happy for them.. Shhh keep it on the down low at least until Monday. HEHE!

Very exciting stuff .. my parents are probably dazzed and confused.

Off to clean my house more

TTYF
KC

I had an interview today for tutoring.. which I promptly did for 2 hours tonight. (we could use the extra cash) plus I like tutoring! I just wish it was Calculus and not Data management but menh!

The interview was interesting with the tutoring company and when asked what my flexibility was I just said it's wide open since i am currently unemployed and he says to me .. you aren't unemployed you are in transition.. I like that!

So the universe is taking care of me all I need to do now is appeal some decisions holding me back!

I can't wait until this weekend .. I really enjoy camping over thanks giving and I know Chief is going to love it!

kcnd

So no don't worry it's not my irrational anger it's someone elses .. unfortunately I am unable to stop it from affecting me. So here's the story.. We're engaged (YAY) and we wanted to set a date so in August before I left we went and visited the venues we were left without much options (due to family constraints and the venue already being pre booked) so we picked a date that worked for us and my family. Well there is also someone at CCNM engaged and they are also getting married next summer. As it looks right now ours might be on the same date as their wedding. So she feels it's necessary to get mad at me and publicly lambast me (I hate facebook for that) because she picked it way back in June. Although there are a few points I want to make here about it..
1) she never emailed me to tell when it was
2) I heard briefly through the grapevine that it might be that day but I wasn't really that sure
3) how prusumptions of her to think she makes the invite list
4) how prusumptions of anyone to think they make the invite list (maybe I am having a small wedding just family)
5) we are not best friends let alone friends at all (we happen to travel in a similar circle that's all)
6) if it ends up that it is the same date well I will tell anyone who is torn to just go to hers
7) and if you are upset and we really were friends wouldn't you think it's the best thing just to ask me what the circumstances were

if you can't tell this is upsetting me cause it's suppose to be a joyous occassion not a competition!

Yes I am here learning a lot and trying to help out as much as I can. There are many reasons why I am here and I know it's the place I need to be even if it's not the place I feel I want to be right now. I am trying to focus on the present. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. I am also dealing with a lot of guilt right now but it's my own things I am carrying around like I don't want to be this damn dependent on my partner I like to pull my own weight but alas that is what transition is all about. He of course is a patient understanding and supportive man and he understands me so for him it's a non issue (thank you honey).

So how are you? I wonder?

Kcnd

Lets start with the bad news. A friend of mine from when I swam at McMaster committed suicide this week. I am very sad by this news he was a good man and had a great heart I that the world is going to miss out greatly because he is not here. He was in my rookie year and had a great bond with many of us. One of the biggest impacts his life had on me was a women's team meeting before we went to provincial championships in my 3rd year he came to a meeting and described to us how important the girls team was to guys team and how we would always be their CHICs. He was a powerful man with words and he made me feel so much in those few hours I am very grateful to have known.

The good news. The big question has been asked and I said YES YES YES! So we are engaged it's very exciting and lots of people are not shocked but still I am excited about spending the rest of my life with this man. Now if only I could get the Priest to email me back (I think he is on vacation) to help us pick the date that would be awesome!

kc ND

I love my boyfriend,

I love post secret sunday mornings

and I love the fact that I know have an occupation (and it's no longer student)!

kc

SUCKS balls... and it's been over a year now and it still kills me ... albeit only on and off but right now it's on again. Sometimes I curse advances like Facebook .. I would have been much better off in the dark.

I hope you are happy and I wish we still talked and stuff.

Hi it's been awhile. YEs I am still alive. Bored out of my mine (Found out that my max study time is 5 weeks) I think its combined by the effect that I want to go on vacation and I am burnt out but hey things are still very exciting. I have lots of studying left but I also feel like there is time!

I am finding everyone is sooo busy and life is becoming a whirl wind but I get to spend a month on the west coast 10 days of which is spent purely with my boyfriend hitting up hostels and spending quality time doing fun things like hiking, sea kayaking, and sightseeing.

I was trying to hold out on posting till the BIG thing happened but alas it hasn't happened yet but I keep getting assure that its all planned and it will happen so there's pretty much a month left but it's for sure going to happen next summer.

Here's something weird my littlest (which is the tallest) sister is now legally able to drink (19 years old) crazy right. She is also living by herself completely next year at college how crazy is that.

KC

So I haven't posted in awhile. The last 6 weeks of school were brutal but I survived! and now I am
DUNN DUNN DUNN! (in total highschool fashion)

Can you believe it I can't it's been four years and I have moved out of TO for good. Of course there are always a few last minute things to do (study for my board exam go to convocation etc)

And in the fall I will be starting my very own clinic/practice (YAYA!)
I still haven't come up with any names or logos but I have been writing things down and I have had tonnes of thoughts

I can't wait to celebrate graduation but I still don't feel like a real human being.
Maybe more sleep will help! Maybe any suggestions

So I am sure I have been saying this for last few months .. it's the last of this or that or something else.

So the very last CCNM exam was written this morning by the graduating class of 2009. I can't believe it it's quite a feeling and the same sentiment is all over the halls right now. We also had to vote for Valedictorian and Community Spirit award and some faculty awards. So that was weird and crazy but still fun in it's right.

On a more personal note I got nominated for the Naturopathic Honour award along with 5 others so that's pretty cool. I don't have a chance in hell of winning it but it's really neat to be honoured. I have to come up with a CV outlining all the things that I have done as a leader here at CCNM and honestly it leaves a nice taste in my mouth after all the bitterness lately.

I am quite tired and generally excited about the next 6 weeks. Definitely a few things I have to get on the go and take care of but I believe it's doable so that's a good thing. I do hope you are enjoying the sun of late and I love spring.

Going to enjoy a celebratory glass of bubbly in the next office over. TTYL
kc

The count down on things happens to be starting to be getting more apparent. First of all the sun is staying up for much longer and coming up much earlier now a days which internally makes me more rested. It's amazing how quickly this change comes about. I am also starting to worry about life.. but last night my man and I decided that I just really need to keep my eyes on one ball a time... Some of the biggest hurdles in my life are coming at me.

In order of things to complete:
- finish all the little requirements in order to graduate (hours and patient visits and preceptoring and blah blah blah) May 09
- Study for and pass NPLEX (aug 09)
and
- the biggest decision whether I want to practice on my own and start from scratch or start to work out of someone's already existing office ...

so for now it's just one day at a time with a huge countdown clock (Jeopardy theme playing in the background) hanging around in the background

My good friend from undergrad just had a baby girl. She is beautiful with that full head of dark hair and curious eyes and gorgeous smile. Every where I look there are people with babies there are about 7 girls in my class currently pregnant which has to be some kind of record for CCNM. There have been other women in our school before have babies but I am telling you not this many in the same graduating class. They are all going to make it to graduation (although probably barely) and start spitting them out one at at time.

I am currently treating a set of twins that are amazing I wish i could tell you more but I can't. I just feel honoured to be treating them and grateful for how they have helped me renew my faith in humanity.

There are a lot crazy things that I could rant about right now.. like the fact that my back is spasming or the fact that I hate being in compounding and not seeing patients or the fact that I am extremely tired of this place. I need a lot of things but mostly I just need some down time!

I wish this computer was working so I could continue with the work I actually have to do for school!

kcnd

OMG I think this has been the longest hiatus I have taken from blogging ever. There are many reasons why I haven't blogged that vary from the usual to the private to the craziest. In the last six weeks I have grappled with a lot of different emotions and situations. Fortunately I have a partner who is more than willing to deal with these rants and raves in real time. Which is an outlet I have never had before and is seemingly becoming more than just a passing phase. I wish he would hurry his butt up and ask me the BIG question already. The patience he is requiring from me is rather gruesome. Stubborn man!!! but either way.. I have been keeping myself busy by going to other peoples weddings (catching the bouquet I might add) and spending time with friends that I don't always get to spend time with. Thanks so much for being my date and being such a great friend. I have lost some friends in the last little while and I am slowly coming to terms with this. I am working on building a business plan and trying hard to finish my requirements (they bog me down so much) for school!

I miss my colleagues at work a bit but I like the time it gives me to get my school work done.

Either way I have been to the brink and somehow managed to come back from it twice this year and it's only been 2 months so I think this year is going to be quite the treat! YAY 2009

kC

You know when you make a decision and you ultimately think it's made so that you are taking better care of yourself but then you realize it's just the opposite. That has happened to me. I have taken off quite a bit of work this semester for the purpose of seeing more patients, having more time for myself, getting my shit together at school and being able to do those things I haven't been able to achieve yet that I need for graduation. Well it turns out this is not the case. Every time I go and try and schedule something I find out that really that life has gotten in the way and the sacrifices I have made financially this semester really mean nothing right now. Grr very frustrated by this situation. I am not going to lie I am worried about how I am going to get it all done and now I am thinking I might have to cut back even further...

Oh well in time I think it will work out for now though it isn't easy! It also doesn't help that there is an invisible time clock following me around. Kind of like in Peter Pan every time Captain Hook hears a ticking clock he freaks out that is what my Nervous System has decided to do lately.

I have never been good at transition periods. I enjoy them they are exciting but still it seems to reek havoc on my health. (thanks dad for the ingrained worrying feature)

Okay well Happy New Year and enjoy 2009!

KC

The the last shift before some time off is always the worst! Thanksgiving weekend was a horrible time too (I waited for a patient to show up and then I had to wait for REVEIW grrr!) Today is another example of this, today is the last clinic shift of 2008 for me... I have had 2 patients cancel because of snow and I am patiently waiting my third patient who when called was all like we are going to TRY.. the snow is ridiculous and if you don't show up today well the clinic isn't going to charge you so why bother trying STAY HOME! it still doesn't let me leave any earlier.. and my sudbury born boyfriend is all like who cares if it's snowing we are going to the party tonight anyways! He is fearless!!!

Here I am painstakingly waiting to finish clinic month number 8... please come to an end..

Oh ya I have curly hair now.. it's pretty cool..
also if you want to check out pictures of me and my man here are some we got taken for Christmas
http://blog.jyphotography.ca/ (she is a great photographer)

PEace out and enjoy the holidays ..
BE SAFE!
kc

So yesterday was a day spent entirely like one I imagine my parents weekends close to Christmas being. I got up early did some work for my exam/school, then we made a list of all the stores and things we had to do that day! We spent the whole day together getting ready for christmas! .. We shopped and planned and really just did a whole lot of stuff .. we travelled together in the truck to pick out a christmas tree and then I decorated it while my honey did some other menial task I asked of him!!! CRAZY I felt really grown up. Now I we own our very first real christmas tree in the living room which we will seemingly pay forever for (hehe frickin' mortgage). It was fun and weird and you know these are the days that really make me realize how much I want to spend the rest of my life with this man.... this was the first of many hopefully.

I will probably go off line for awhile (due to holidays and my dad's moms health is declining quickly so I think I should really put my attention into being with her and supporting her etc)..

So yay Happy Holidays and all that .. BE safe and try to enjoy the winter wherever you are!
Much Love
kc (soon to be kcND)

Okay so when I moved out here with my partner I knew that commuting wasn't going to be fun. I also knew that the winter might be horrible (nights staying in town, nights terrified I won't get home cause no one in town is answering their phone, Extremely early mornings to beat traffic etc). But yesterday was a pure example of BULLS*&T. It was a snow fall (not the first one) but the first semi big one and yesterday every asshole decided that driving slower than I drive in the granite club parking lot (which is patrolled) all the way to school was a smart idea. I HATE YOU ALL you stupid idiot drivers. Seriously 40 or 50 km/h would have been acceptable but no lets drive 5 km/h and break every 2 seconds. Do you know how long it took me to get to school yesterday 4 hours (that I think is a bit excessive) the drive usually takes 35-45 minutes and in heavy traffic it has taken me somewhere in the vicinity of 1 hour and 30 min. But yesterday I left 15 mins later than I normally would have (because I had to get dressed up nice and pretty) and I missed preview and an hour and a half of time at school plus I was late for my first patient it was tremendously horrible. I really felt like I should have just turned around and gone back to bed. I know how road rage happens now.. I wished I was at home in hickville town where my sawed off shot gun was in the bed of my car just itching to be taken out and blasted at one of the many retards I encountered yesterday. Do you know where I could have driven yesterday in that amount of time I could have driven all the way to Ottawa from Toronto, from my house in the CK to hamilton and back. I could have been to Sudbury (using the back roads) or pretty close to North Bay (again using the back roads) with that amount of time.

My time is precious and I feel sad and angry when I get violated like this.. it feels worse than those exams where I walk out feeling like my professor just F*&# me up the pooper with an iron rod!

Thank you reader for reading my post! I have been sitting with this for 24 hours and it just doesn't seem to be going away!

kC

Let me just say how weird it is to be in the month of December and not have large chunks of the days off to study and write exams. I know that's why I am shutting down .. I am so used to and longing for the time of exams which I know I love. Pardon me loved. Instead I work hard at seeing patients and getting paper work done and trying to work in and around scheduling for all the other things.

This December though there is a larger amount of 'fun' Christmas things to do like get my house entirely ready for many visitors to live at my house for the few days before Christmas.

I am really excited
Oh and Sinterklaus brought me a Wii (yay!!!)
I don't think I have enjoyed a game console this much ever!

KC

So just so everyone knows.. it's been a year since my partner and I met and fell in love. It was a rocky beginning but it's smooth as butter now!

He is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.. I only hope he feels the same way.

We are celebrating ... he has a surprise day tomorrow for me. All I know is I wasn't allowed to work too early on Sunday.
I am excited about spending time with him and I finally found the right present for him. We are going to pick it out on Saturday. We are spending the entire day together on Sunday.

The dilemma that I am facing right now is how to get the universe to send me more patients... I really need to boost my numbers. I want to be open to building more cases and helping more people. I have confidence now though that I didn't realize I had before. However I think this weekend is going to be concentrating on making sure my partner knows how much I love him and then after that I am going to tackle the other portions of my life!

OKAY have a fantastic weekend

GO MARAUDERS GO! it's conference time baby!

KC

So I think I may have faced possible complete failure and I may have passed anyways. It had nothing to do with actual performance it actually had only to do with the papers and other such nonsense at this school!

Large sigh of relief!
I feel much more in control now I just have to manage to find new patients!

My man is being very sneaky lately at least it feels like that! He is still amazing in every other way but our anniversary is coming around and really he has plans and he is so sure of himself and he has that mischievous grin that drives me bananas and he knows it!

Okay that's it for now!
Have a good rainy weekend?

kc